Collection of poems (Written March 1st- March 4th)

All These Questions

“Why am I so confused?” she asked me.







“I, myself have been wondering the same thing,” I tell her.






She acts concerned, but I can see


Her sudden apathy.






But I know I’ll break


If I keep all this bottled inside of me.






I’ll bore her with my tales


Of my pitiful life


And her responses come shorter


And I know that she doesn’t know how to fix


My eternal strife






Maybe she doesn’t care


But I call her friend


So my terrible tales


Of what some may call life


With her I share






“Are you happy?” she ask me.


“Why wouldn’t I be?” I respond,


Tired of trying to explain,


When no one listens anyway


“Reasons” she tells me,


Like she knows






Yeah,


Reasons I think


I’m a lone


I constantly disappointing myself


I’d rather live in my imagination than reality


No one believes in me.


I’m never good enough






A list of reasons


But I could never tell her that


She would think I want pity


I don’t want pity


I want answers






I move on with the conversation


Like everything is almost fine.


But secretly-


I’m screaming-


“Help!”


Inside.

___________________________________________________________
Is this what it feels like to go mad?




Like having your mind disagree

With your every thought,

Contradicting everything you think,



Like you can’t understand yourself.



Like if you say one word the whole world will-

Pounce

And tear you limb from limb.



Like your heart has turned inside out on itself,

Like your mind has worked too hard,

And is going to explode from overheating,



Like I’m so unstable that nothing even makes the least bit of sense.



What if everyone can see that I’m crazy?



Is this what it’s like to hurt?



Like just randomly crying will solve all my problems.



Like pretending I’m always happy will make me happy



Like being with someone will solve everything

What if it will?

Would I ever know?



Like maybe tomorrow my heart will leap out of my chest and tell me off.



like the whole world is ganging up on me, ready to tell me there’s no point in trying



I’m not good enough



What if the whole world is ready to hurt me?



Is this what it feels like to die?



Like a mask if covering your face.

Like every insult you hear is directed at you.

Like the doors are locked and the fire is right behind you.



Like even if you run you aren’t going anywhere.



Like no one cares,

Like no one listens,

Like no one understands.



Like the whole world is staring but they can’t see.



What if the whole world wouldn’t notice if I fell away?


_________________________________________________________
(This one makes no sense)
Rain is drizzling outside-


It is a beautiful disaster.

And all i want to do, is dance in it.

dance like tomorrow I will feel no pain.

dance like I will never again taste the rain.

Maybe, if I’m lucky

it’ll wash away my pain;

and soak me with hope that I thought I’d never see again.



A sad song

the melody of a million choirs

seems so surreal,

they know everything thing in my heart

the know how I feel



Tell me there is hope for another chance,

Tell me something crazy I won’t believe

I need something crazy

something to hold on to

Please make it true,

please let it be you.
__________________________________________________